Language learning is a personal journey. But over time — and across more than 20 languages — I’ve noticed certain habits that consistently waste time or drain confidence. Confidence is critical to success—so to help you feel better, learn better, and stick with it—here are 10 things I never do when learning a language.
1. I Never Put Pressure on Myself
Don’t worry about when you should start speaking. Don’t worry about whether or not you’ve optimized your language learning routine. Don’t worry about your grasp of the grammar. In short, don’t put pressure on yourself. This kills enjoyment. And without enjoyment, consistency is impossible. Trust your instincts and let things happen when they’re ready.
2. I Don’t Try to “Master the Basics”
We hear this all the time: “Just master the basics.” But in reality, there’s no such thing. A common language learning mistake is thinking that progress occurs linearly. You’ll keep making mistakes with so-called basics for years — and that’s part of the process. Focus on input. Read and listen. And when it’s time to speak, use what you’ve got. Fluency grows from exposure, not a perfect base.
3. I Don’t Expect Much of My Memory
SRS systems and vocab lists are not for me. I don’t find these resources particularly engaging, and it tends to create frustration. Forgetting is natural and unavoidable. Instead of trying to hack my memory through spaced repetition, I aim to acquire words in meaningful, varied contexts. Random repetition through authentic content helps words stick organically, without pressure
4. I Never Get Frustrated About What I Don’t Know
Yes, it’s hard when you hit a wall with a new text or forget a word you “should” know. But staying stuck in easy content forever won’t help. Push into more challenging material. Among this list of language learning mistakes, the need to understand everything may be the most damaging to one’s confidence. Progress requires a strong tolerance for ambiguity.
5. I Don’t Chase Native-like Pronunciation
Trying to sound exactly like a native speaker is a recipe for disappointment. People from different regions — even within the same language — pronounce things differently. You don’t need perfect pitch or the IPA to be understood. I find that, when a language is used eloquently, the accent adds some charm. Overall, what matters is communicating clearly and confidently.
6. I Don’t Shadow
Many language learners swear by shadowing, but I found it boring and unnatural. If the content was too easy, I lost interest. If the content was interesting, I wanted to just enjoy the content, not parrot the sounds. For me, comprehension comes first. Authentic, engaging input is far more valuable (and fun) than rote imitation. Many mistakes in language learning stem from forcing yourself to use methods and techniques that you don’t find interesting or enjoyable.
7. I Don’t Role-Play
Pretending to be a doctor or a tourist at a train station? Not my thing. Scripted conversations are rarely realistic, and they don’t prepare us for spontaneous situations. Real-life interactions don’t follow a script. These types of activities distract us from the real goal: overall fluency. We want to be prepared to handle any situation, not just the ones we rehearsed.
8. I Don’t Test Myself
Unless you need to pass an official exam, I don’t recommend taking a test. Tests are stressful and rarely reflect real-world language ability. Can you understand a podcast? Can you hold a conversation? Do you feel comfortable with the language? That’s what matters. Language learning should be about growth, not grades.
9. I Don’t Obsess Over How Long It Takes
“How long will it take me to be fluent?” is the wrong question. It’ll take as long as it takes — and rushing won’t help. I’ve been learning Persian, Arabic, and Turkish for years. I enjoy the process, and that’s what keeps me going. Language learning isn’t a race — it’s a lifestyle.
10. I Never Forget to Give Myself Credit
It’s easy to focus on what you can’t do. But what about what you can? Remember the wins — that conversation at the store, that podcast you understood, that time you ordered food in another language and it worked. Confidence grows when you celebrate the milestones (including the small ones), not just chase perfection.
Final Thoughts
I’m not trying to be dictatorial when it comes to language learning. If you love shadowing or role-playing, by all means, keep doing them. However, something that these language learning mistakes have in common is that they cause frustration, drain your confidence, or steal your joy. Language learning, whether with an objective in mind or just as a hobby, should be an enriching, pleasant process.
Feel good, keep going — that’s the secret to learning any language.
Happy learning,
Steve
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